The baby went "home" to family last week. My heart was nothing but relieved. I knew that the family was happy to get her, and excited. I knew that things would ease up at my house once she was gone. I feel so guilty for feeling this way, but there was nothing else to feel except relief.
And things HAVE gotten better. During that first week Steve was working so much and I was trying so hard to get things done all the time that I made myself sick. To my credit, i WAS premenstrual, so my immune system was a little off as it is every pms cycle. Nevertheless, i ended up nearly fainting and puking my way through Wednesday, and then contracting a real nice sinus infection for the weekend.
But what's a little sinus infection (and newly discovered iron deficiency) when you're in DISNEY WORLD?! That's right, i took him to Disney World last weekend. I had to, my annual pass was running out! I have never seen so much joy in a child all at once. Sometimes he would just laugh out of happiness for being there. It was so much fun.
He has started singing this song, "I love you soooo much! I love you sooooo much!" It happens every few hours. Pleasant little kiddo.
I'm a little frustrated with DSS right now. I still don't have any idea of his medical records, and need to set him up with a pediatrician. No idea if he has had his 4 year old shots or anything. His particular case worker knows nothing, every time I call. It isn't that she doesn't know the answer to things, it's that she doesn't know ANY protocol. She doesn't know who to contact for things, she follows through on nothing, and she doesn't know simple things like the fact that foster children are eligible for WIC, or that I can take them to any doctor I want.
Slowly, C has been talking more and more about his mom and his home life. I am glad that we can talk about his feelings, but wish he didn't know how to speak, because these things are so sad. Last night is when he said to me, "If you love me every day, my heart won't break."
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